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Disappointing my Mother

  A hot flash comes upon me as a tornado comes upon the ground: fast and unexpected.  Just looking at the grade “D +” made me shiver.  It is the worst grade I have ever gotten and I quickly shove it into my binder hoping no one has seen it.  I am embarrassed and disappointed in my self.  When I get home, I tell my mother I had gotten a “B” on the test hiding my real grade because I hate disappointing her.  I sloppily flip through my binder looking for our assignment when the test slips out, my mother takes one look at it and I clearly see the disappointment in her demeanor and in her eyes.  I apologize for lying and tell her that I concealed my real grade because I didn’t want to disappoint her.  She looked me in the eyes and I saw her anger.  She told me she was much more angry that I had lied about it.  The feeling in my gut wasn’t anger in return; instead, it was a deep sorrow that I had disappointed her.  I wanted to “undo” what I had done earlier that day.  I wanted to burst out crying and tell her to forgive me, but instead, I just walked away silently.  My mother has always told me “actions speak louder than words”, and that is what I was going to do.  From then on, I told her everything and didn’t lie about my grades.  She has been more proud of me than ever, however, I am still in the process of earning back her trust.  

Elizabeth

            Elizabeth has grown from an irrational, restless, little girl into a fine, wise, young woman.  At first, Elizabeth was quick to judge and is easily persuaded.  She had not developed a sense of herself and therefore was dependent on the things she was told.  She was very quick to judge without knowing the person.  At the first ball, Elizabeth judges Darcy without even speaking to him.  “His character was decided.  He was the proudest, most disagreeable man in the world.” (13).   She said this from her observations of Darcy not dancing with many women and not being sociable.  She prejudged him without even speaking to him, and made irrational judgments based only on her observations of him walking about the room.  As time went on, she grew to like him a little bit more, but still didn’t let go of her immature ways.  As soon as she heard Wickham’s story about how disgusting and disgraceful Darcy was, she believed him right away without any evidence.  She was too easily persuaded and did not even know the true story.  Her hatred for Darcy grew until one day; she received his letter telling his true story about himself.  Upon getting this letter, she started to grow up.  She found that Darcy was in fact, innocent of the charges put upon him by Wickham.  She started to change her way of thinking and turn into a wise, thoughtful, and insightful person.  She learns to think of both sides of stories and is sorry to have been so quick to judge.  “She grew absolutely ashamed of herself…she had been blind, partial, prejudice, absurd.”  (201).  Upon recognizing her own mistake, she has become more insightful and thoughtful about prejudging and deception.  She is more rational about her decisions and is ashamed that she was so quick to judge Darcy.           

Brave Little Katie

            Leukemia.  That word rings within my ear almost every day.  “Hey T, come down, I want you to meet our new neighbors!” screamed my mother eagerly at the sight of our new neighbors approaching my door.  They walk up the long brick pathway waiting to be introduced.  The mother appears to be very young and she is carrying two little kids who turn out to be twins: Zach and Katie.  The very moment I see Katie, I know there was something wrong with her.  She had lost all of her hair and looks very weak.  I think to myself what a hard life she must have and I thought “aw… poor little Katie who is so helpless.  She must be so defeated and sick.”  Later that day my mother tells me Katie has leukemia.  I feel awful for her and I judge her to be a very defeated and weak little girl.  Over the time we share together, I get to know her better, and she is such an intelligent, young, bright girl.  I soon learn she is extremely bright for her age and she is extremely brave.  I prejudged her to be such a weak, little, helpless girl, but I was very wrong.  She fights every day battling Leukemia and still manages to have fun.  She goes into remission, and the days start to get better for her and she is so much livelier.  BAM!  Her organs or failing, and everything is spiraled out of control.  Such a brave girl fights her last fight.  Her body is too beaten down to continue.  She just rests.  She is gone in a blink.  At first meeting Katie, I judged her to be such a sad, defeated, and beaten down girl.  But I soon learned she was so inspirational; she was uplifting, happy, and extremely brave.  I will always remember Katie and her optimistic ways.  She will live on forever.   

Jake: My Ideal Lover

            I look over and stare into the gigantic, blue, luscious eyes of my boyfriend and I finally believe that he is “the one”.  He is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.  He is perfect.  Jake and I have been dating for quite some time and I love him with all of my heart and I truly think he is perfect.  Not only is he a “stud muffin”, intellectual, and downright gorgeous, but he is someone I feel comfortable talking with because we truly do love each other.  People toss around the word “love” a lot, but I have a deep love for Jake and I can’t stand being without him.  I will admit, I started liking him for physical reasons: his beautiful body build, enormous eyes, stunning smile, handsome head of hair, luscious lips, and heart-warming hands.  However, as we went further into our relationship, I realized that he is smart, street smart and book smart, and beautiful at heart.  The day had finally come; he brings me out to my favorite restaurant.  I know what is about to happen, and I am fully prepared to give him the acceptance of my hand.  We are eating and chatting about how much we love each other, when he slowly moves out from the table.  As he gets down on one knee, I think to myself that I am the happiest woman in the world.  It is finally the moment when my perfect man takes my heart, but this time, for good.  I close my eyes and as I open them I feel the cold faint breeze of the dark night.  Opening my eyes, I realize it was all a dream.  I feel as if I need to cry watching all of the traces of my “perfect” love life drift away.  Will I ever find my perfect significant other?  As for now, I am single and have no “perfect man”.  I think: in reality, you may never find someone as perfect as your ideal man, but all you can hope for is someone that makes you happy.

Having Fun

Betrayal

Homesick

The Hidden Part of Yourself

I must be myself