T Blog :-)

I start the vigorous hike through the mountains not knowing what lay ahead. I feel the pain swimming through my legs. Sweat starts to roll off my head like Niagra Falls leaving a trail behind. Panting heavily as an old dog. Pinecones crush beneath my feet as my legs start to feel uneasy. The dirt crawling up my legs grasping for every inch of my body. I question why I decided to do this. Keep telling myself just a few more steps, just a few more… My heart is racing, not sure if it will be able to slow. The hills seem neverending and slowly become steeper. I feel the pull of gravity more than ever. As I am about to collapse I come to a hault. As I look out all I can see are fields that go on forever. Beautiful greens blues and reds working together in the quilt of nature. I am speechless in this moment, in complete awe. This is heaven, I thought, on Earth.

As I lay in bed last night, a shiver danced across my back. I thought of death, my worst fear. There is only one certainty in life – you will die someday. Knowing that, you would think that we would be prepared for our short stay on this earth to end, but is anybody ever really ready for death? To be truthful, I am afraid, afraid of the unknown. I’ve often thought of what dying would feel like, but this time I thought of something worse. This time, I thought of where I would go after death. The overriding fear grew as I thought more about it. I have many family members who have died, and I have heard the expression “she/he is in a better place” more times than I can remember. Many people believe in a heaven or a “better place,” but, as of now, I don’t know what to think. The bottom line is, nobody knows for sure. An overwhelming feeling of anxiety grasped hold of me as I thought of being buried six feet under in a coffin. I thought of having all of that dirt on top of me day after day allowing my body to decay. Would I feel it? I started to cry as I realized that this is reality. I will die; people I know and love will die. There has to be more. The truth is, I will never know until I am gone. The only thing I can do is live my life to the fullest while I have the chance.

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